Insert-Blog-Post-Title-Here

I think I’ve figured out how to successfully design, manufacture, and market jeans for Lebanon. The brand will be known as Insert-Lame-Ass-Brand-Name-Here, and on our billboards we’ll feature our very own Insert-Name-of-Generic-Girl-With-Nice-Ass. She’ll display our luxury designer product in several situations which reflect upon the normal daily activities of ladies who wear jeans, such as Insert-Situation-Where-Girl-Is-Lying-With-Ass-Raised-In-A-Public-Place, or Insert-Situation-Where-Girl-Is-With-A-Live-Animal.

Our jeans will be made from the finest quality designer materials that Insert-Name-Of-Country-Other-Than-China has to offer, made from our skilled Not-Sweatshop-Workers.

Stupid Medicine (part 1)

A few months ago I interned at this pharmacy in Broumana. One day this woman walks in and shows me a brochure for this wax removal torture apparatus for children as it seemed.

The Ear Candle. Instead of all the pretty standard, easy to use wax removal products available, this woman opted to light a flame over her 4 year old’s head. According to her, this is an ancient Native American technique of ear care (probably serves as an offering to the spirit of the buffalo too). The Hopi tribe had to deny having anything to do with ear candling, thus discrediting an already idiotic marketing campaign. The FDA labels these products unsafe as well. All this aside, isn’t the look of terror on the little girl in the picture enough to think that this might not be the best option for your kid?

I was relieved to find out that the pharmacist didn’t have this product, among the many quack alternative homeopathic bullshit products he actually did have. We don’t need anymore stupid health trends in this country, Zein El Atat and Amanacare are more than enough to deal with.

Baby On Board

Yesterday on the Zouk highway I saw a car with a baby on board sticker. The baby was sticking her head out of the window. heh…

Presumptuous

Weak conversation recently, and it was entirely my fault. Happened when my friend decided that a fun trip to take would be to Mexico. With my intense knowledge of Mexican affairs, supplemented primarily by CNN, I stated that Mexico is a stupid idea. The country plagued by drug lords police violence would be a dreadful place to go.

That’s when I remembered (I will take credit for remembering, although other people included in the conversation helped me draw this conclusion) that CNN is shit when trying to really figure out countries half way across the earth. I fell into the trap most westerners fall into when describing Beirut as the war-torn wasteland occupied by bearded lunatics suiciding themselves along with their camels and leaving big holes in our vast tundra.

So i sincerely apologize to all Mexicans, I won’t be so presumptuous anymore.