Tag Archives: Lebanon

Election Time At Universities

I wrote this essay 2 years ago, at the start of my 5th pharmacy year at LAU. After the ridiculous results of the USJ student body elections, clearly illustrated by Rami at +961, I wanted to share it on my new blog. It’s all still relevant today, and the yearly cycle of college campus bullshit never ceases to amaze me.

State Politics In University Elections. Is This a Good Idea?

Approaching the year-end, its election time at universities in Lebanon. Every year around this time, politics enters the student arena like a circus comes to town, or like a virus enters the human body (depending on which way you look at it I suppose). On any circumstance, this is a reality that universities have to deal with; a true display of democratic campaigning comes alive in a plethora of multi colored stands, t-shirts, and pamphlets circulating amid enthusiastic chanting and music. Democracy at its finest, as some would say.

Students cast their votes, and then the waiting game begins as the ballots are counted, and the party slowly escalates leading up to an orgasmic eruption of festivities once the final results are in. Sounds like fun huh?

Well it’s loads of fun… But the festivities eventually die down. The coming day or two show an extrapolation of University election results into statistical achievement of political parties around the country, and mainstream newspapers publish stories about their favorites’ victories. The country amuses itself for a few days with the results of the “intellectual” vote. It’s marvelous…All the smart people in the country have chosen who they want to represent them in Lebanese society, rendering one political sect more superior (more legitimate? Cooler? ) than another political sect. Orange becomes the new blue… fuscia becomes the new magenta…

It all seems to work out well for the country, for the state lacks anything that resembles a clean democratic operation. BUT…can anyone really feel a sense of closure when the elections end? Seriously now, have we done our academic institution, the same one that evoked our democratic discipline in the first place, the justice it deserves?

Why are there university elections in the first place? The student body elects its representatives for a reason other than the creation an overrated statistic for the country. We elect our representatives as a way to directly communicate our needs to the academic institution, in order to better our institution, as well as to improve our academic lives throughout our college or university years. These ideals, although always present in some form or another, seem to be overshadowed by political rhetoric and slogans. So much so that students forget their roles as students, and their political activism and emotions take on a form so large that they seem to forget their institutional responsibilities to begin with.

But who cares??? The country needs the “intellectual vote”! This will always be a priority more important than any institutional needs… If we seriously represent the intellectual class of the Lebanese populace, then why do we so much mimic Lebanon’s political atmosphere, when we ALL know, and I stress on ALL, that it is a decadent system which has obviously failed its people? Why must we allow such a system to inevitably break our universities, by allowing a biased choice of candidates as student representatives?

Biased … Candidates in university elections are almost never voted for according to their own individual ideals and ideas for institutional improvement. The majority of candidates are voted for because they are backed by the various student political groups. This therefore creates a bias, because most votes are cast for purely political reasons, rather than there being a more realistic determinant of a student’s choice of representative. More realistic, individual determinants include a candidate’s leadership qualities, public relations, and more importantly, true enthusiasm for contribution to the institution. Heaven forbid we elect our representatives for their qualifications rather than their politics!

Thus, there is no doubt whatsoever that more importance is given to the election itself rather than the elected. However, and to put things a little bit in perspective, those elected are not always unfit for the job. On the contrary, some of those elected are very qualified for the job, and are motivated to do good work as well. Also, many politically active students and their student party leaders can be some of the most intelligent, and no doubt most enthusiastic and well spoken students on campus. Still… It’s not about being smart or stupid at the end, it’s about where your priorities lie. Most answer to that by saying “My priority is my country!”. Well that’s fine and all, but there are more realistic goals to aspire to… Maybe the institution for a change? Let us not forget why we have an election in the first place.

To put things in perspective again… University policy, and improvement of the academic institutions are, in fact, included in the campaign agendas of certain political groups. I mean, they have to be there right, so that the elections are at least semi-believable in the end… What’s an election without campaign promises? What is disappointing however is that they are never prioritized… and are most of the time completely forgotten 2 minutes after a side emerges victorious.

Still… We do see a lot of initiative from political groups. The most organized student groups are those affiliated with political parties. The most enthusiastic as well… Important issues like financial aid and tuition have in the past been tackled by the various political groups. That’s just great, HOWEVER… Would an initiative to decrease tuition be taken more seriously from a political party, whose political aspirations originally outweighed any institutional goals? Or from a student group originally created to handle such a thing? In addition to this, any initiative that spurs from a political group, however marvelously beneficial it may be, will most probably be ignored by their opponents, mainly out of spite, thus weakening the initiative altogether.

Where have all the independents gone?? There has been a recession of independent university parties over the past few years (need we explain why?). Also, so called “independent” students are always most definitely affiliated with a political alliance, so much so that the term “independent” means almost nothing anymore, and political parties use it as an act of subterfuge, in order to attract the neutral vote.

It’s just sad. This country should be a reflection of its proud academic institutions, not the opposite.

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The Old Janitor

This really old janitor has always caught my eye at LAU. He is an obvious case of hyperkyphosis. The hump on his back is so large that it seems that he is leaning over all the time facing the ground. Of course LAU noticed his undeniable talent at landscape perception, and he was thus handed a broom and a dustpan with the mission of sweeping up the campus. I’ve never seen him doing anything else. I’ve never seen him without his broom and dustpan.

Why hasn’t this poor guy retired yet? It’s sad that someone like him can’t afford to retire in peace, and is bound to clean the hallways until his arthritis catches up with his sweeping wrist action. I’m all for people with disabilities being functional members of society, but this guy is at least 70 years old (I’m being generous). Time to send him home. I implore LAU to offer this guy a decent retirement,  i’m sure the next janitor is on his/her way of develloping a spinal disease bad enough to clean the campus.

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Insert-Blog-Post-Title-Here

I think I’ve figured out how to successfully design, manufacture, and market jeans for Lebanon. The brand will be known as Insert-Lame-Ass-Brand-Name-Here, and on our billboards we’ll feature our very own Insert-Name-of-Generic-Girl-With-Nice-Ass. She’ll display our luxury designer product in several situations which reflect upon the normal daily activities of ladies who wear jeans, such as Insert-Situation-Where-Girl-Is-Lying-With-Ass-Raised-In-A-Public-Place, or Insert-Situation-Where-Girl-Is-With-A-Live-Animal.

Our jeans will be made from the finest quality designer materials that Insert-Name-Of-Country-Other-Than-China has to offer, made from our skilled Not-Sweatshop-Workers.

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Stupid Medicine (part 1)

A few months ago I interned at this pharmacy in Broumana. One day this woman walks in and shows me a brochure for this wax removal torture apparatus for children as it seemed.


The Ear Candle. Instead of all the pretty standard, easy to use wax removal products available, this woman opted to light a flame over her 4 year old’s head. According to her, this is an ancient Native American technique of ear care (probably serves as an offering to the spirit of the buffalo too). The Hopi tribe had to deny having anything to do with ear candling, thus discrediting an already idiotic marketing campaign. The FDA labels these products unsafe as well. All this aside, isn’t the look of terror on the little girl in the picture enough to think that this might not be the best option for your kid?

I was relieved to find out that the pharmacist didn’t have this product, among the many quack alternative homeopathic bullshit products he actually did have. We don’t need anymore stupid health trends in this country, Zein El Atat and Amanacare are more than enough to deal with.

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Baby On Board

Yesterday on the Zouk highway I saw a car with a baby on board sticker. The baby was sticking her head out of the window. heh…

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Waking Up Is Overrated

I arrived late to the Nina Simone concert. I had front row seats at the far right side of the concert hall, although I don’t remember whether I was indoors or outdoors. The group of acquaintances i was meeting, and their seating arrangement on the table were both equally peculiar. I had to have some of these people move over in order to be seated next to friends i actually gave a crap about. One of whom was a guy i couldn’t stand, and the other was this girl wearing glasses I didn’t recognize, who was studying off a biology book for some reason. Weird. I had to turn my seat in order to face the stage…

… And there I was, facing the high priestess of soul. She was alone on stage, seated at a grand piano. She seemed perplexed. She was definitely provocative. She didn’t look like the pictures of her i had seen but I didn’t care. She was 5 meters away, and she was staring at me as if studying the expression of awe on my face. The amps weren’t working as she started to play “My man’s gone now”. That’s when I woke up.

I would seriously pay the full front row ticket price to see that dream through.

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